


The Person That You Were (You Cannot Find)

by resistance



Series: In Every Reality [2]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Church Sex, Emotional Support, Fluff and Smut, Laughter During Sex, Lazy Sex, Lichtenberg Figures, Lightning Strike After-Effects, M/M, Making Out, Quiet Sex, Riding, Self-Esteem Issues, Sleepy Cuddles, Sleepy Kisses, Sleepy Sex, Vulnerability, by church sex I mean quiet sex they do not have sex in a church, healthy relationships built on trust and support
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-21 13:48:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14916512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/resistance/pseuds/resistance
Summary: When it's four in the morningWhen it comes without warningAnd the Silence drags you down under the tide.





	The Person That You Were (You Cannot Find)

**Author's Note:**

> Literally just the soft sleepy sex that my boys deserve, featuring communication and healthy relationships built on mutual support. 
> 
> The slightest hint of self-esteem issues from Barry but Cisco quickly proves that he is the most beautiful man in the world.

The low light of dusk filtered in through the gap in the drawn curtains, casting a sunset-gold glow over the two men, who were laying together, arms wrapped around each other in a sleepy embrace. One was shirtless, the summer nights proving too warm to be fully clad in pyjamas, the other wasn't, happily resting his head on his boyfriend's bare chest.

Cisco was drawing patterns on Barry's chest with the tip of his index finger, tracing the scars from the lightning strike that Barry had mentioned before. 

"They're pretty," he said softly. At Barry's furrowed brows, he continued. "Your lightning scars," 

Barry did a sort of half-assed shrug, giving off a 'believe what you want' sort of vibe. "That's one way of looking at them, I guess," he said tiredly. His eyes were closed, one arm tossed above his head, the other holding Cisco close to him. "You'd be the first to think they're pretty, though," 

And they were pretty. The lightning strike had left Lichtenberg Figures all across Barry's torso, the snowflake-like marks stretching down his spine and around to his left hip. Within the first few months of them dating, Cisco had noticed that Barry always dressed quickly, refusing to even glance at himself in the mirror. That, and the fact that he never let anyone see his back. When he asked about it, Barry had gotten all fidgety trying to explain himself. In the end, he had just lifted his shirt off to expose his back, showing the feathered markings and explaining how much he hated them. 

_"I don't know what it is about them- I just... I just don't like looking at them,"_

_Cisco's chest ached at that. He reached out a hand, stopping just short of making contact with Barry. "Can I...Is it okay-"_

_"Yeah," he said softly. "It's okay,"_

_With that, Cisco's fingertips grazed the figures, tracing them up the pronounced bones of Barry's spine. He felt Barry shiver and pulled away quickly._

_"Sorry, I didn't-"_

_Barry cut him off. "No, no, it's nothing you did. It's just... Nobody's ever seen them, except for Caitlin- and it was hardly like I had a choice then- and it feels...It makes me..." he trailed off, his hands gesticulating as he tried to find the right word._

_"You feel exposed," Cisco offered quietly._

_Barry nodded, solemn in his words. "Yeah," he said, slipping his shirt back on. "Exposed."_

_It was that that gave Cisco the courage he needed to speak his mind._

_"You can be vulnerable with me, Barry. I'm not going anywhere," he said softly, taking Barry's hands and giving them a gentle squeeze. "I promise,"_

_Barry squeezed back, lifting Cisco's hand up to his lips and kissing his knuckles softly. "I know,"_

 

It had been four months since then, and Cisco had made a point of paying positive attention to the Figures on Barry's skin. In the morning, when Barry was making breakfast, Cisco would hug him from behind and slip his hands up Barry's shirt, pressing warm palms against them with innocent touches. In the evening, cuddled on the sofa, Cisco would rub circles against Barry's spine with his thumb, sometimes brushing the marks. Even during sex, he would stop to press butterfly kisses to the ones on Barry's hips, following them up Barry's chest and to the crook of his neck, where the feathered figure markings ended.

And, eventually, Barry grew to like the attention Cisco would pay to the marks. He loved how gentle Cisco always was, his touches soft and tentative like he was waiting for Barry to tell him to stop. That never happened, of course, but just knowing that Cisco would back off if Barry said the word... it brought around a new level of trust between them. But that didn't mean he hated them any less- not at all. It just meant that he was okay with Cisco seeing them.  

 

Cisco sat up, using one arm to hold himself steady "Hey, look at me," he said softly, brushing his knuckles against Barry's jaw. He opened his eyes and shuffled up a little, propping himself up on his elbows. He easily held Cisco's gaze, green irises meeting cocoa ones.

"I know you don't like them, Bear, and if you want me to shut up about them and back off then I will, but you need to know that to me, they're just another part of you. They're what make you- well, you- and that means that I love them just as much as I love the rest of you. Lichtenberg Figures show up on trees after a lightning strike. Did you know that? They're a force of nature, Barry- a beautiful, intricate force of nature, just like you. " 

Barry, who was fully awake now, pulled Cisco down, pressing a soft, sleepy kiss to his lips. Then another, and another in quick succession. 

"I must have done something right in a past life to end up with someone like you," he said softly, caressing Cisco's cheek and running a thumb over his bottom lip.

Cisco chuckled. "You probably saved the world or stopped global warming or something," 

The pair laughed, sharing chaste kisses between them.

"Do you think," Barry started, pressing yet another kiss to Cisco's lips, "That it would be socially acceptable for us to have soft, lazy sex right now for you being so perfect?" 

Cisco smirked. "No, but we could do it anyway," 

Barry grinned, soft and dopey, placing another kiss on Cisco's lips, his palm against Cisco's cheek. Cisco shifted, slipping one leg over Barry's thighs and righting himself so that he was straddling the speedster. Barry sat up with the movement so that Cisco was essentially sat in his lap and slipped his hand under the hem of Cisco's shirt, edging it up his torso in a silent ask of permission. Cisco responded by lifting his arms up, ducking his head out of the material as Bary lifted it and tossing it across the room, really not giving a damn where it landed. 

Which, all things considered, was possibly the hottest thing Barry had ever seen. Ever. 

Their lips reconnected, satiating the quiet ache they felt for each other. It wasn't ardour that drove them, it was adoration, a deep-rooted desire to make the other feel loved. Cisco's hands wandered across Barry's abdomen, drifting along the hard planes of his chest until they reached broad shoulders. He wrapped his arms around Barry's neck, pulling him ever closer, one hand tangling in his hair. 

One of Barry's hands was splayed between his shoulders, warm palm against his spine. The other slipped down, tugging at Cisco's boxers. He lifted his hips, allowing Barry to pull his boxers down over his ass, before shuffling back and taking them all the way off. His boxers met the same fate as his shirt, and Barry's soon followed, leaving both of them perfectly exposed to one another. 

They all but pulled each other back into their arms, drawn by a force that was almost magnetic. The two just longed to be close, longed for contact. 

Barry reached over to the drawer of the bedside table and pulled out a small bottle of lube and a condom, slicking up his fingers with the lube and rubbing them together to warm it. He looked to Cisco, eyes searching for permission, and was met with a slow nod. He slipped a finger into Cisco, oh-so-slowly dragging it in and out to get him used to the feeling. Cisco let out a soft moan, burying his face into the crook of Barry's neck. His eyes flickered shut, breathing becoming a touch shallower. 

"Is this okay?" Barry whispered, pausing in his movements. Cisco nodded again, once, twice. 

"God yes," he murmured back, rolling his hips down against Barry's finger as a sign for him to move again. Barry happily obliged, slipping in a second finger and scissoring Cisco open with slow, deliberate movements. Another moan was drawn from Cisco's lips, reverberating against Barry's collarbone, where Cisco had made it his mission to leave as many hickeys there as he could. They would heal within minutes, but Barry liked the feeling and Cisco liked to leave them, so neither one was complaining. 

A low groan was pulled from Barry's throat at the feeling of Cisco grinding down against him, the hand resting on Cisco's hip tightening its grip slightly. 

"Barry- _haa_ \- I'm gonna need you to- _mmh_ \- fuck me now," he breathed, his lips brushing the shell of Barry's ear. The speedster pulled out his fingers, opening the condom and rolling it on with ease. He locked gazes with Cisco, smiling softly between kisses. Cisco lifted his hips again, sliding down on to Barry's cock slowly. When Barry bottomed out, the pair of them remained still, allowing Cisco to adjust to the feeling. They exchanged soft kisses, Cisco's arms wrapped lazily around Barry's neck, Barry's hands resting gently on Cisco's hips. 

When the pain subsided to a pleasurable warmth, Cisco gave a small, experimental roll of his hips to check if it was good to move. When moans were pulled rather abruptly from both him and Barry, Cisco nodded at the speedster. 

"You can move," he murmured, pressing kisses up and down Barry's throat, biting and sucking marks on his pulse point. Barry's pulse was always like a jackhammer, but Cisco found that weirdly comforting- almost endearing. He could feel his pulse through his lips, the racing of blood through Barry's veins. 

It was kinda hot if Cisco was being honest. 

As Barry pushed his hips upward, Cisco rolled his downward, meeting Barry mid-thrust. His hands clutched at Barry's back, nails only just biting, not enough to leave marks. Barry let out a low moan, his soft baritone ringing sweetly in Cisco's ear. Cisco ground his hips down, the rolling movement drawing out another moan from the man beneath him. When Barry shifted on the mattress, his angle changed as he thrust upwards. He hit Cisco's sweet spot, drawing a moan out of Cisco that was low and guttural, the vibrations in his voice buzzing at the juncture of Barry's neck. 

They were both so incredibly lost in each other, the world around them completely irrelevant at that moment. All they knew for certain was that Cisco was there, that Barry was there. They were there together, as one, and that was all that mattered. 

Cisco rolled his hips, head tipping backwards in a soft moan of ecstasy, and Barry pressed kisses to his neck, slipping a hand between them both to pay attention to Cisco's cock. His hand, already slick with lube, ran tantalisingly slowly up and down Cisco's member, squeezing with just enough pressure to pull a wrecked moan from Cisco's lips. 

"Mmnh- _fuck,_ Barry- _ahh_ \- shit," he breathed, fingers tangling in Barry's hair and tugging not quite as gently as one would think. Barry let out a low moan, turning his attention to Cisco's exposed neck. Because as quickly as he healed, Cisco didn't, and hickeys would last up to a week with him, sometimes longer. 

Cisco's breath hitched as Barry's teeth grazed over his pulse point, hips stuttering in their steady grinding rhythm. Barry's hand continued to work at Cisco's shaft, timing his movements with his thrusts. Cisco let out a barrage of sinful sounds, eyes fluttering shut in ecstasy at the feeling of Barry's hands on him. 

"Fuck, Cisco," Barry cursed, voice ragged at the sight of the man before him. He was well and truly wrecked, his hair mussed, bottom lip red and kiss-swollen. A sheen of perspiration had formed all over his body, glowing in the setting sun, and _shit,_ if he wasn't the most beautiful thing Barry had ever seen. "You're so beautiful," 

Cisco's cheeks flushed warm, barely noticeable behind the soft pink already present from exertion. "Mm- ahh- do you- _shit_ \- do you say that to all your boyfriends?" he teased, only just able to get the words out through the waves of pleasure rolling through him. 

Barry smirked, giving another particularly hard thrust, causing Cisco to buck his hips in pleasure. "Nah- _haa_ \- just you," he breathed, struggling to keep his words in check as Cisco ground down against him

With a few more rolls of his hips, Cisco was panting, the familiar build of heat growing in his abdomen. "Fuck, Barry, I'm close," he breathed, tilting his head forward to press lazy, open-mouthed kisses to Barry's shoulder and collarbone.

"mm, me too," he hummed, thrusting up again. Cisco let another moan slip from his mouth, feeling his hips stutter again. He came in hot white spurts over Barry's hand, a loud moan pulled from between his lips as Barry carried him through his orgasm. He came soon after, and Cisco did his best to continue grinding on him, his movements becoming slightly more sluggish as he basked in the afterglow. 

The two sat there, catching their breath and grinning at each other like dumb teenagers at a party. While he wasn't too sensitive, Barry pulled out of Cisco, tying off the condom and tossing it into the trashcan beside the bed. Cisco settled down on the mattress again, lying face down with his chin resting on Barry's chest. He smiled lazily, happy to watch as his boyfriend came down from his high, breathing fast and heavy. 

"That good, huh?" he teased, trailing his index finger in similar patterns to the ones he was drawing before. Barry laughed, opening his eyes to glance down at the man beside him. 

"I just had some of the best sex I've ever had with one of the most beautiful men in the world. I'm pretty sure that it's a little better than 'good'," he stated, grinning at Cisco with a smile that was two parts satisfaction and one part flirt.

Cisco chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to Barry's cheek. "Come on, smooth operator. Your blood sugar's probably all out of whack and I want food, so let's go make pancakes," 

He sat up, swinging his legs out over the edge of the mattress and standing up. He pulled his boxers on, the dull ache already forming in his lower back making him already regret standing up so quickly. 

Barry, naturally, god bless him,  noticed it instantly. "Are you okay? Was it too rough? Are you hurt-" 

Cisco cut him off. "Uh, no, no, no. First of all, you could bend me over a desk and rail me until I scream your name and it still wouldn't be too rough, so don't worry about that," he started, either unaware of the blush on Barry's cheeks or choosing to ignore it, "Second of all, I'm fine. More than fine, even. I'm just a little sore. Nothing some painkillers and a hot water bottle can't solve," 

Barry, still concerned, took Cisco by the hand, pulling him back down onto the bed. "C'mere," he said softly, kicking the duvet out of the way so that the mattress cover was exposed. "Lie on your front," 

Cisco did as he was told, folding his arms in front of him and resting his chin on them. When he felt Barry straddle his butt, he raised his eyebrows, looking over his shoulder at the speedster. "Mr Allen, what are you doing?" 

Barry smiled warmly at Cisco, holding up a bottle of massage oil that Iris had gotten him for Christmas after hearing him complain about back pain for a month. In his defence, he had had his spinal cord severed, and so was entitled to some whining. He upturned the bottle, dripping a little of the oil into his palm and rubbing his hands together. He placed the bottle on the nightstand beside him, before turning his attention back to Cisco, who was resting his temple on his arms like a pillow. 

He pressed his palms against Cisco's lower back, applying pressure and kneading at the muscles there. Cisco let out a low groan of approval, a noise that should have been downright illegal. Barry's hands travelled upwards, pressing his fingertips into the space between Cisco's shoulder blades, working out the knots in the muscles there. Cisco spent most of his day leaning over a computer or a workbench, sometimes staying in the same position for hours on end. Which, as Barry had pointed out once before, wasn't good for his back. 

"Fuck, Barry. This is almost better than sex," he moaned, rolling his shoulders a little at the pleasantness he felt there. 

Barry grinned. "Almost?" he taunted, his voice holding a teasing lilt. 

"Almost," Cisco confirmed. "Because as good as this feels, it doesn't feel as good as you do," 

Cisco, Barry had noticed, seemed to lose his brain to mouth filter after having sex. Because pre-sex Cisco wouldn't say such dirty things without stammering or blushing a little. But Cisco currently? Well, Barry was hardly complaining about how Cisco was talking now. 

"Is that so?" 

Cisco nodded, humming in appreciation as Barry's hands moved to the centre of his back, working out the knots there. "Yep," he said, popping the 'P'. 

Barry paused in his movements, leaning forward so that his chest was pressed to Cisco's back and his lips were against the shell of Cisco's ear. "If I'm so good, why don't we test your claims?" 

Cisco once again turned to look at Barry over his shoulder. He raised a brow, smirking. "Round two?" he proposed, eyes partway lidded in a way that Barry could only describe as _'Bedroom Eyes'_

Barry smirked back, finger running under the waistband of Cisco's boxers and twanging it against his skin, making him jump. 

"Hell yes,"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Title based off of + one-shot written to 'Believe' by The Score


End file.
